please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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