I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
