I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
