i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she looked like the before picture.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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