So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
