You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
