there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
