No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
