I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
