I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
how drunk are you?
Several
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
