my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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