Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
In other news, I just burned my penis
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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