For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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