dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so let's talk penis.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
