3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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