the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
