so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
