Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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