how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
