jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
