u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
A+ Viking dick
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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