I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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