dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
