I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
