tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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