I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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