The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
