theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
