She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
