we have pet lesbian snakes
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She even gives head with a lisp.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
