There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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