Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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