I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
