Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
