I wanna passion pit in your ass
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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