Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
