are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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