so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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