Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
