census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
