Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
