Whod you bang
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She bit a glass in half.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
