You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
