Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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