Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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