how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
