imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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