covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
