ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
