Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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