Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
